Current mood:	cold
Current music:	Prince Adam says: Ice cold!!!

The White Buffalo
Eternia is cold. In fact, it's cold as hell - making it no place to raise your kids.

Mer-Man came over today and was all, "Did you find Spalding Gray?" and I had to admit that we hadn't but we're still trying.
"You guys should probably look in the closet. That's where I go when I'm sad sometimes," he suggested, and we all pointed and laughed.
"Way to be gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!" stressed Beast-Man, who had been using my stove 'cause his is broken. "Mer-Man's in the closet!"
"No, I'm not! I'm right here."
"Dude, Mer-Man's come out of the closet! Too funny!!! Lemme write this down in my LOL Organizer."

I had to explain to Mer-Man the occult meanings behind being in/out of the closet. He, not being too quick, wanted to know what being in a closet had to do with sexual orientation. I sighed and explained Fashion to him.

It was getting pretty dull inside, so we thought we might go out and I bundled up in my fur-trimmed parka, like the one Han Solo wears but bigger. Once I opened the door, though, I changed my mind. IT IS COLD OUT TODAY!

How cold is it, you ask? Well, it's so cold that if Jesus was here He would climb down off the cross, put on a scarf and say, "Christ, it's effin' freezin' out!!!"

The chill wind prompted Beast-Man to quote that Outkast song and ask, "What's cooler than being cool?" to which Mer-Man and I chorused: "Outside!"

To warm ourselves up, we watched a movie with a cold-related but highly offensive porn name which I cannot repeat here so I'm gonna substitute the Charles Bronson "White Buffalo" movie for it.

"Dude," asked Beast-Man, "do you think those are real?"
"As real as anything you see in a Charles Bronson movie."
Battlecat staggered in just then and watched with us for a bit before observing that "you wouldn't have to pay me to do that!" and we were all like, "Ewwwww, dude! That is sick."

Mer-Man got kinda shy about the whole thing and told us he wasn't allowed to watch Westerns and I was like, "Well, who's stopping you?" and he shot back, "God!" and just then Jesus came in to get His scarf, and said, "It's effin' cold," and He left without saying anything about the Westerns. Mer-Man tried to plead Judaism but we wouldn't believe him and tied him to a chair with his eyes held open and made him watch the rest, especially the six-man gunfight.
"Man," complained Beast-Man, "bullets are flying everywhere."

I got bored pretty quick, though. I mean, how many times can you watch someone ride a horse? So, I decided I'd write something in my LiveJournal. Beast-Man followed me and I was like, "I thought you were waiting for the cowgirl scene," but he was just like, "Hey, does this mean you are updating your journal and continuing the tale of He-Man and more importantly Me?"

But I had thought about it and told him, "No. If I'm gonna update it has to follow the story line of Season 2.1. I'm just telling the He-Friends that it's cold on Eternia."

After the movie was over we all had hot chocolate, even Jesus.

Well, He-Friends, it's cold on Eternia.