He-Man ([info]heman) wrote,
@ 2004-01-13 13:39:00
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Current mood:searching
Current music:Prince Adam says: What have we found?

FIND SPALDING GRAY!!!

*The following is a public service announcement*


As some of you may know, writer/actor/kinda weird guy Spalding Gray has disappeared and he was last seen somewhere on your planet (not mine) so I figured we could organize a search for him. Let's call it "Find Spalding Gray!!!" for lack of a better title.
Now sure, I know you guys are all saying, "Hey, He-Man, I already have to look for that email baby that keeps getting kidnapped!" Well, you gotta understand that babies are cute, and people are gonna look for them regardless of whether or not you read that email. Not so for poor Spalding Gray! How many people do you know that are gonna go out of their way to find a missing raconteur? And how many of those are sober?
You see, He-Friends, the search for Spalding Gray is up to us (you guys in particular, though I'll check the Slime Pit). Only we have the dedication to heroism and sheer people-power to get this job done!

To find Spalding Gray, I would suggest that first we search for him as a Livejournal interest. When you find people that list him, give them a good going-over. You never know!
Also, someone should go to the main Livejournal page and read the latest posts thingie. Keep refreshing and don't skim!!! There may just be a clue to his location hidden between those "High Fidelity" quizzes.
When you are done searching Livejournal, I'll need you to brush the cobwebs off your sedentary form and get out of the house! I understand that some of you haven't seen daylight in years, and to you I suggest high SPF sunscreen and dark glasses. If anyone asks, say you are an Anne Rice fan.
Once you are outside, I want you to check your yard if you have one, and then go door-to-door. Take a picture with you if you can (preferably one of Spalding Gray...crayon is okay). Don't leave any doorsteps 'til you have a concrete answer as to whether or not the inhabitants A) have seen Gray or B) are holding him prisoner. This may require the application of force but hey, what doesn't?
When you have found Spalding Gray comment in my Livejournal or email me. Then call the police. If Gray seems to be a flight risk use jujitsu moves to immobilize him.

For those of you not familiar with his oeuvre - I would suggest checking out "Swimming to Cambodia" and "Monster in a Box". If you've seen "The Paper" I apologize.

Here is a picture to help in your search:





Now let's get out there and "Find Spalding Gray!!!"

-
[info]heman

Please, feel free to post this in your own journal if you think it will help in the search.



(Post a new comment)


[info]annlarimer
2004-01-13 10:56 am UTC (link)
::looks::

He's not here.

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[info]heman
2004-01-13 11:01 am UTC (link)
Hi! H-M here. Good work, [info]annlarimer! We've just got to keep looking!!! I'll check the pizza place.

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[info]annlarimer
2004-01-13 11:11 am UTC (link)
Thanks, Mr Man! I'll check the webcams and the loading dock.

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[info]mykwud
2004-01-13 11:12 am UTC (link)
I blame Megatron, as always.

And I can't believe the yahoo article didn't list "How High" in his filmography. =(

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[info]heman
2004-01-13 11:19 am UTC (link)
Hi! I'm He-Man, the highest man in the universe. Well, [info]mykwud, what can you expect from a place that has to give away email accounts for free?

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[info]mykwud
2004-01-13 11:35 am UTC (link)
*bows to his royal HIGH-ness*

haha, He-man, remember that time Man-at-arms went looking for weed?? How did THAT day turnout?

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high anxiety, you win
[info]buttler
2004-01-13 11:48 am UTC (link)

i was going to find spalding gray, but then i got high.

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[info]heman
2004-01-13 01:21 pm UTC (link)
Hi! He-Dude here. I can't remember, [info]mykwud, I took to listening to Floyd records after we ran out of Cheese Doodles.

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[info]archiedavis
2004-01-13 11:39 am UTC (link)
mister he-man?

has anyone actually thought that he might be actually TRYING to swim to cambodia?
maybe to, you know, put his money where his mouth is?

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[info]heman
2004-01-13 01:23 pm UTC (link)
Hi! I'm Mister He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe. If he did, Archie, we're screwed! Those Cambodians still haven't been able to find Gary Glitter!!!

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[info]cabari
2004-01-13 12:10 pm UTC (link)
I found him, but I don't know jujitsu and he got away. I'm so, so sorry.

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[info]heman
2004-01-13 01:26 pm UTC (link)
Hi! Jujitsu He-Man here. Well, [info]cabari, I tried to find a webpage with stuff you could use to restrain him if he came back...but it was all kinda inappropriate and in some cases invasive.

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[info]lindsaygail
2004-01-13 01:57 pm UTC (link)
Cheer Bear and I will check the University of Michigan Dearborn. Well, most of it anyway.

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[info]heman
2004-01-13 03:54 pm UTC (link)
Hi! I'm He-Man, the most cheerless man in the universe. If you do see him, Lindsaygail, hit him with the Care Bear stare! After that we can get Birthday Bear and have a party for him.

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[info]michaelduff
2004-01-13 06:28 pm UTC (link)
Hi He-Man, Michael Duff here. Glad to see you're on the case. Somebody needs to find this guy, give him a big hug, and remind him that the world loves him.

I hope that's still possible.

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[info]aki_dreaming
2004-01-14 11:19 am UTC (link)
Hear, hear! I was just thinking about him, though it was for extraordinarily personal and selfish reasons.

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[info]heman
2004-01-14 12:07 pm UTC (link)
Hi! I'm He-Man, the most on-the-job man in the universe. When I first read your post I thought you had suggested we give him a BIG BUG! I felt that might not be the message we wanted to send, but I'm glad I was mistaken.

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[info]sinboy
2004-01-13 06:30 pm UTC (link)
Presto's resturaunt (Italian)2770 Broadway (btw. 106th St. & 107th St.)

That was where I last saw him.

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[info]heman
2004-01-14 12:10 pm UTC (link)
Hi! He-Man here. Good lookin' out, [info]sinboy! We'll need a stakeout. It's time to eat breadsticks, everybody!!!

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[info]megthelegend
2004-01-13 06:37 pm UTC (link)
Hi He-Man!

I admire your quest to find him so damn much I've added you to my list.

I shall be ever-vigilant, ever-alert, in the quest!

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[info]heman
2004-01-14 12:13 pm UTC (link)
Hi! He-Man here. That's great, [info]megthelegend, I added you back! While you are ever-vigilant I'll be Everquesting!!!

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[info]ravengirl
2004-01-13 06:38 pm UTC (link)
well he has been here.
but he's gone now.
no, really.
"in concert".
living in connecticut
(or so he says)
writing things about
being a daddy now
(like "morning, noon and night")

i swear i didn't put him in the stew.

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[info]heman
2004-01-14 12:16 pm UTC (link)
Hi! I'm He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe. I think the [info]ravengirl doth protest too much. Oyster crackers, anyone?

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[info]ravengirl
2004-01-14 02:29 pm UTC (link)
eep.
*ahem*
::looks left, then right::
my mistake-
nope, nope,
haven't seen him anywhere.
...i'll have a cracker, thanks.

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[info]pottermemoirs
2004-01-13 06:44 pm UTC (link)
I will check Boston's beautiful Prudential Center and its shops tomorrow and then get a sandwich.

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[info]heman
2004-01-14 12:18 pm UTC (link)
Hi! He-Man here. Thanks, [info]pottermemoirs! You never know where those New England types might show up. Now put down that phone and get lookin'!!!

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[info]aikigrrl
2004-01-14 10:08 am UTC (link)
Oy!
I hope he didn't take the "impossible vacation."
:(

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[info]heman
2004-01-14 12:19 pm UTC (link)
Hi! H-M here. If he did, I hope at least he used Priceline.com!!!

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[info]aikigrrl
2004-01-14 05:08 pm UTC (link)
You know, I wouldn't put it past Shatner to be behind some of this!
*Shakes fist*

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[info]loki_of_asgard
2004-01-14 05:20 pm UTC (link)
i just woke up. sorry He-man! i did look though and he wasn't in my bed. which is good as far as i'm concerned.

i will now go post this announcement in my journal and check all the liquor stores in the area.

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[info]heman
2004-01-15 12:51 pm UTC (link)
Hi! He-Man here. Here's five bucks, Loki, bring me some Red Stripe.

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[info]thefruity
2004-01-14 07:53 pm UTC (link)
He wasn't in my shower, and neither was I...whoo! Sorry He-ster, I was too stinky to look for him. The good news is he's not in the fridge, I did find Ron Silver there though.

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[info]heman
2004-01-15 12:52 pm UTC (link)
Hi! Ron Silver here. What the hell am I doing in your fridge?

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[info]thefruity
2004-01-15 02:12 pm UTC (link)
I was punishing you for Veronica's Closet. You were once a respected actor for pete's sake!

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[info]kergillian
2004-03-09 04:47 am UTC (link)
Found him.

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[info]mykwud
2004-03-10 03:29 pm UTC (link)
hi again, He-man.
I posted a fitting eulogy to your Grandpa Gray here. =(

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I hate to be the bearer of bad news
[info]stephantravels
2004-05-25 04:41 am UTC (link)
folks your hard work paid off and we've found Spaulding Grey.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/01/13/entertainment/main592845.shtml

sorry

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